I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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