She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
