This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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