I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
ttyl tear gas
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
