I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
But break dance skills will only take you so far
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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