She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize