I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
