Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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