You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
