I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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