listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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