one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
this boner is exhausting
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Im part way to drunk.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
