Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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