Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
