a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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