Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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