I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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