the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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