Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
