She's JV to your varsity
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
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Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
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Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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