i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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