ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
