I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
