new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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