see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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