I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize