i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
