Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
