:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
