I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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