Swine flu. Run for my life!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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