just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
