remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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