mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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