i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
