Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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