I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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