woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
