And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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