i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
