I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
