The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
