Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize