I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
