Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize