The maid of honor just puked.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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