He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
