This girl is more easily done than said...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
