it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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