I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
