That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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