I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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