help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
