I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize