This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
