is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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