a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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