That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
