Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
