We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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