So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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