Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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