Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize