As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
